My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Alive.
So much puke
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
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Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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