This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Liz is crying about burritos again.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
