How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think i have two assholes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
