I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
