I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You did what with his pubic hair?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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