You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
