At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just blew my weed a kiss
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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