loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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