My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
