I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
