Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
