She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
