____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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