i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
