I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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