Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
