It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
