is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
