But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
