so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
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