Its about making memories worth repressing
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
