drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
this is an emotional support booty call
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
