babies were throwing up all over the place
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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