well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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