I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
