I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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