I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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