New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Bring me that man meat
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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