Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
