I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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