one might say we're banned from that church
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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