just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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