nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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