i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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