if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Sorry about my life...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
