Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I'm really busy with my period
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