Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
