hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i love accidental penises.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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