I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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