I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
