So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize