i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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