Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
