Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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