That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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