Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
