Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize