I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
