I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
