I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
