Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
