K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
