I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
