The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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