i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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