Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
