Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
