Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
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no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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